I fingered at a black feather as I took slow reserved breaths, etching toward the edge of the top of the “One America” building in Downtown Indianapolis, the tips of my converse peeking over the rim of the familiar building. A light breeze tugged at my shoulders, inching me forward. My stomach lurched as the wind whispered for me to trust— to have faith — to jump…
I twiddled with the black feather. I craned my neck over the fringe of the rooftop, awkwardly peering over the ledge in stupid curiosity which in turn made me cringe and scoot back several inches, my toes retreating to solid roof of the building. I blinked and adjusted the tilted ski goggles that rested on my tanned forehead, sweeping the golden brown curls from my face, contemplating once again why I was there. My heart steadily drummed, its quiet beat regressing to normal and echoing in my ears as I leaned back and surrendered, laying down on the chalky rooftop. I looked up at the cloudy starless sky, relaxing my legs and letting them dangle precariously over the edge.
I thumbed with the black feather. I sighed, breathing in the oxygen deprived city air as a thick smog began to settle in, glazing over the city lights as I sat up once again and clutched the rim uneasily, my fingernails digging into the edge. I tensed. Was I really going to do this? No. That was irrational. Illogical. It’s not like anybody was going to “save” me… But I had this Itch… But no… But I had this itch….
I clutched the black feather. I mumbled something inaudible to myself under my breath as I looked down at the city below me that was lazily beginning to become enveloped by the growing smog and watched the cars sluggishly drone on. I breathed. I relaxed; I adjusted my goggles and then threw them off. I waited, blinked, and my body lolled forward. I tensed. I relaxed. I jumped.
I dropped the black feather. My heart skipped a beat, and then two; and then regressed back to normal. Adrenaline kicked in as I began my fatal decent. The wind aggressively licked at my face and made my eyes water. A warm feeling washed over me and my body became limp and weak. I tensed, and then I relaxed. I closed my eyes before the connection was final. A hard crash resounded throughout the surrounding area. I felt—I felt it all shatter, I felt it all crush—Why could I feel? It was just a dream… This was just a dream! It was hot. It was cold. “This is just a deam…” Why could I still feel? This was supposed to be a dream… It was hot, then it was cold, and then it all faded to black. “Sasha…”